Wish (wishdragon) wrote in potatoemashers,

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"Tea" for Two

We mentioned Tezley in the last post's comments, but she deserves a post all to herself.

Tezley showed up on Project Infinity some time around 1998 with a mortal app. She applied for a 16-year-old daughter of an army general, with a list of skills twelve miles long. Diplomacy, proficiency in a dozen language, martial skills, Olympic-level firearms accuracy, disguise and subtrafuge... OH! And the ability to whistle any piece of music... backwards. At this point, PI was still accepting a lot of crap apps, so "Tea's" app was incredible by comparison. HUGE personality, giant background, well-written. The player had also spent a lot of time hanging out in the OOC room before she was accepted, making friends, being cheerful, and joking about apping for "Guest2," as a character. She was accepted, and released on to the grid.

It wasn't long before playing ONE perfect character wasn't enough for Tezley, though. She split her character into two personalities: "Tea," her rollerblading, gum-popping, boy-hungry younger self and "Tezley," her own studious, serious older sister. She actually argued that characters with trained senses of smell (bloodhound-level senses of smell), would not be able to tell that the girls were one and the same because each personality wore different perfumes.

While this was annoying, it wasn't the worst of it. Eventually, Tezley fell into aquaintences with Selene (if you're familiar with Marvel continuity, yes. THAT Selene. Mind-controling witch with telekinetic powers that make Jean Grey's powers look like nothing more than a slight case of constipation, AKA The Black Queen). After a few weeks of RPing exclusively inside the Hellfire Club, it becomes known that Tezley has actually manipulated Selene into become HER slave, and has become some sort of dominatrix mistress of (at the time), THE MOST POWERFUL CHARACTER ON THE GRID. And during those isolated months of IC time, the SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD ordered Selene to give both herself and Tezley GIANT BREASTS. When I say "giant breasts," I don't mean "D-cup." I mean the description had the phrase "beachball-sized," and "augmented back muscles to carry the load." Tea's description also pointed out that most of her torso was obscured by these new jugs. Selene's description contained references to twin watermelons. They also gave giant breasts to Fairchild (who was Selene's alt and who was taking part in these girl-on-girl slavery scenes), who later had them removed by Magneto... but that's another story.

Somehow during this time, Tezley's player became Roleplaying Wizard. She was chosen after the LAST RP Wizard was sacked for claiming that there was nothing wrong with applying for a character with an app that was stolen from another player's website. So she apped for a character who was a literal manifestation of chaos. She wanted the power to ICly show up in any scene at any time, even scenes that were being held in locked private/TP rooms. I believe the rational went like this: "The less possible it is for her to be somewhere, the more likely it is that she'll be there." It was an "I want to randomly fuck up everyone's RP and not be held responsible for it" app. There was SO much more to that app, but I don' t have the app on this computer. Ahhh, the bad old days. The app was rejected...WHILE she was still a Wizard. We all heard about that for days, let me tell you.

Tea wandered away for awhile then, we didn't see her for a few months. When she came back, she had an application for a character who could generate biological lifeforms and exercise limited control over them. This was all fine and dandy, until we got down to the part where she mentioned that she could control the speed at which these lifeforms were traveling when generated. Up to five hundred miles per hour. In other words, she could metaphysically fast-pitch a squirrel at you... at 500 mph. With the repeating speed of an automatic weapon. She was a walking chipmunk machine gun.

After that app was rejected, she left and didn't return. She was seen on other MU*s, usually apping for Illyana. At one of these MU*, I personally witnessed a scene where Tea's Illyana character used her teleportation disks to core a young woman like an apple. I believe she garnered some twink fame as that character on serveral old superhero places.

Now, before you write off Tea as another crazy, psycho hose beast woman... remember this: the player was a man.

I could be wrong, but I think that this was her(his) old website.

EDIT: That IS her website, and here is her picture and description of Tezley (before the giant boobs of doom).
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